


Blackbird

by sweetsuesparrow



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, M/M, and rejects them all, angst and pain, everyone has a lot of feelings and no one knows how to deal with them, in which hux has many chances at redemption, phasma is the only sane one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-31
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-05-10 12:45:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 20,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5585911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetsuesparrow/pseuds/sweetsuesparrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The fact of the matter was that General Hux was not a good person.  He didn’t lament the fact, or pretend it was anything but true.  He was not good, he was not some cause to be won over by the light.  He did not allow himself to have such contradictions.  At night, he was not kept awake by regrets or haunted by memories.  He slept well, and never dreamed.<br/>Kylo Ren was a different story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written fic (or anything longer than a short story for that matter), in over a year so we'll see how this goes. I saw the movie and immediately went home and outlined the first five chapters of this thing. Since finals are over, I can finally write for fun again and for some reason writing about these two trash kings is my idea of fun.

The fact of the matter was that General Hux was not a good person.He didn’t lament the fact, or pretend it was anything but true.He was not good, he was not some cause to be won over by the light.He did not allow himself to have such contradictions.At night, he was not kept awake by regrets or haunted by memories.He slept well, and never dreamed. 

Kylo Ren was a different story.There was nothing cool, or collected about the man.And there was light in him.It was like the light around the rim of a black hole.It only served to make the rest of him more dark, more chaotic.He was everything General Hux was not, a mess of contradictions, of misplaced passion, of confusion. 

General Hux supposed there was reason to keeping a man like Kylo Ren around.His volatility made him a force to be reckoned with, and he had a desire to please, to be wanted, that made him easy to manipulate.But understanding his worth didn’t mean that General Hux had to like him.On the contrary, he despised Kylo Ren, and the feeling was clearly mutual.When it was possible, he avoided the man entirely.Kylo’s sudden, violent outbursts made him nervous, and the helmet put him ill-at-ease.It made him feel naked by comparison. 

Of course he couldn’t always avoid Kylo Ren, they were fighting the same war after all.This was one of those days when that war was not going so well.A prisoner, a high-profile prisoner at that, had escaped, and with the help of one of their own.Before taking the matter to Snoke, Hux decided to do a little damage control of his own, and this meant dealing with Kylo Ren.The man was not only in charge of interrogating the prisoner, but also had led the last mission the trooper FN-2187 had gone on before he defected.He had already met with Captain Phasma, FN-2187’s more direct superior.She said she hadn’t expected the betrayal, but that perhaps she should have seen the signs.She had his whole company punished to discourage any other potential traitors.General Hux had put off the meeting with Kylo Ren as long as he could, but it was unavoidable. 

“We are tracking them down as we speak,” said Kylo.“They’re en route to Jakku, to retrieve the droid.They’ll both be back in custody by tonight.” 

“I am aware of all that.”Said the general.“But you must know what Snoke is going to say.The fact we suffered such a severe, and successful betrayal reflects poorly on our officers.On you.”

“You can’t expect me to know every trooper,” the voice, though altered and metallic through the helmet was undeniably defensive. 

“I _expect_ you to keep track of your men.”Returned Hux, “as well as the prisoners you deal with.There should have been more eyes on Poe Dameron.”

In the silence that followed, Hux could feel Kylo’s eyes on him. They might be hidden behind a sheet of metal, but nothing could contain the hostility in that glare. 

General Hux went on, “Snoke might wonder if disloyalty in the ranks could reflect disloyalty in the command chain.”Kylo was visibly shaking with rage, but the general would not be curbed, “I wonder who he might look to first for signs of treason.” 

The chair beside Hux shot away from the table as if it had been kicked, and hit the wall with so much force it splintered.Across from him, Kylo Ren sat with his fists clenched tight.The sound of his strained metallic breathing filled the space between them for a moment, and a  voice in the back of the General’s mind warned him that the next thing thrown like a rag doll into the wall might be him. But he wasn't afraid.

“What exactly do you expect me to do, General?”This in a low hiss.

“To capture those men.And make an example of them.Make sure this never happens again, and we’ll be able to tell Snoke that we have the situation under control.”

Kylo nodded curtly and stood, turning almost melodramatically on his heel.“I’ll get those men.Don’t underestimate me.”And with that, he was gone.

But Kylo Ren did not re-capture the men.The fugitives and their stolen ship went down on Jakku.A search party failed to find either wreckage or bodies.But the droid, the BB-8 unit, was spotted with a girl, leaving the planet in an all too familiar ship. They kept in hot pursuit, but still, Snoke was not happy. General Hux knew that another failure would mean a much sterner talking to from the Supreme Leader.  Kylo Ren knew that too, and the possibility clearly frightened him.  But the General was not worried.  The Order was strong, and victory was inevitable.  They would catch that girl and her droid.  It was only a matter of time.

That night was one of those rare ones where sleep evaded General Hux.It was not that he was kept awake, per se, but rather that unconsciousness simply could not find him.After a few long hours of lying awake, staring at the stainless-steel ceiling, he gave up, and dressed again. 

The corridor outside his quarters was quiet.It was never this quiet.There was none of the usual buzz of conversation, of troopers taking advantage of the late hours to whisper their discontent.The men saluted silently when he walked by, and nodded, without words.It was eerie, thought Hux, and and he was almost relieved to see Captain Phasma, sitting disinterestedly at a console.

“It’s awfully quiet isn’t it?”He remarked.

“It’s Kylo Ren.”She sounded exhausted, “he’s having one of his… _episodes_.It would be better to keep quiet and stay away from his quarters.”

“What a child.”General Hux sighed.

Phasma said nothing, but Hux got a sense of tacit agreement. 

He did keep quiet, but he couldn’t avoid walking past Kylo’s quarters.Even from down the hall he could hear the hiss of a lightsaber, and the fizzing and spitting of broken electronics, and something else, he could not quite describe.He stopped, a foot or so away from the door, and peered in, cautiously, careful not even to think too loudly.

There was Kylo Ren, lightsaber in hand.He was standing in front of a ruined console, facing away from the door and General Hux.His shoulders were heaving and his back was bent in defeat or exhaustion.Hux had seen the man angry, violent and volatile before, bur never like this.And strangest of all, Kylo’s helmet appeared to be off.A mess of black hair fell to his shoulders.Hux and seen Kylo Ren without a helmet once or twice, only ever when they met with Snoke, but then the face had always been composed, the lips set, the brows furrowed, and he wondered what that face must look like now, in this moment of ultimate vulnerability.And then there was the sound.More than heavy breathing, pained and raw.It dawned on him that these were sobs. 

General Hux moved to step back from the doorway.He felt somehow that he had crossed a line.It was one thing to know that Kylo Ren was unstable.Everyone in the galaxy knew that.It was another, entirely another, to see that instability in the flesh.This was something he simply did not want to understand.Perhaps Hux breathed too loudly, or maybe he caused some small ripple in the force, he didn’t know, he didn’t have time to wonder.Kylo whipped around to face the general.His face went from flushed to livid, his eyes were wide with shock and fury.But General Hux didn’t have time to notice any of that.He was thrown back, with the force of a supernova, and hit the wall opposite the door.Black spots appeared in the corners of his vision as Kylo Ren approached. 

“Don’t you ever spy on my again.”He hissed, his voice low and broken, untempered by the metallic tones of the helmet, “next time, I’ll destroy you.” 

As Hux slid to the floor, clutching his gut, his only thought was that there could be nothing better in the world than killing Kylo Ren with his own hands.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is what I did instead of getting kissed on New Years... I wish I could go see the movie again (or a hundred more times) but I'm a poor college student so that ain't happening. Anyway here it is

The situation was untenable. Everyone knew it.Even Hux.Things had always been tense between the General and Kylo Ren.They had never pretended to like each other.But ever since that night, things had become actively hostile. Hux tried not to let it interfere with his duties.There were fugitives on the loose, the last piece of the map to Luke Skywalker was so nearly theirs, he had no time for petty quarrels.The order needed him. 

But it was hard —nye impossible— to focus when everyone on board was walking on eggshells to avoid the wrath of Kylo Ren.Hux knew he was safe, that the man wouldn't hurt him again, couldn’t get away with it.But the troopers didn’t share his sense of security, even Phasma seemed unsettled. It was like living with a bomb that no one knew how to diffuse.His anger festered just beneath the surface, making his shoulders shake and his fists clench.Hux imagined that under those black gloves, his knuckles must be white and his palms bloody.He must be scowling too.His lips pursed, his eyes burning.Not that that mattered.

General Hux himself tried not to let his rancor get in the way of his duties.He did what he always did with Kylo Ren, avoided him when he could, ignored him when he couldn’t, and ceded to him when he had to.But he knew it wasn’t enough.Sooner or later there would have to be some sort of release of energy, he only hoped it wouldn’t come in the form of Kylo throwing him around the room again. 

No—it could wait.The sun was rising over the Starkiller Base, and there were more important things afoot.Tomorrow would be the day that would change everything.The Weapon was ready.He had gained the permissions he needed from Snoke. Tomorrow the Republic would fall, and General Hux would cement his place in history. 

He was pacing again.A nervous habit.A waste of energy. 

“Sir?”He hadn’t even heard the trooper enter.

“What?”

“Supreme Leader Snoke sent for you, sir.”

“Why?For what?” 

“He didn’t say, sir.”For a moment, his nerves jumped into his throat.What could smoke want now?He couldn’t afford for anything to be wrong, not now.But Snoke hadn’t called him there to talk about the Weapon.

“General.”Even in the form of a hologram, the Supreme Leader was an intimidating figure.“The fugitives you seek are on Takodona.”

“We should have no trouble apprehending them.”

“No.It is not the fugitives I have called you here to discuss.It is Kylo Ren.These next days will be a test of his loyalty.One he cannot fail.”

“Sir?”

“Keep your eyes on Kylo Ren.If he shows signs of disloyalty, deal with him.”

It was beginning to dawn on Hux what he was being asked to do.But no one could ‘keep and eye’ on Kylo Ren, let alone general Hux.“This test of his loyalty—?”

“Is none of your concern.All that matters to you is that he passes.”

“Yes, Supreme Leader.”

“And I’m sure I do not need to remind you that this meeting must be kept a secret from Kylo Ren.”

“Of course.”

Now it was all the more imperative that he speak to Kylo.He couldn’t keep an eye on a man who wouldn’t be in the same room as him.He didn’t know how to keep an eye on him at all.

Hux finally cornered Kylo on an empty observation deck.It was a rare moment when he looked almost calm, staring out at the darkening snowscape outside, unmoving, the cool light of the stars reflected in his helmet.At the sound of the doors closing, the moment was shattered and he turned to face the general.

“You.”He spat, “what do you want?”

“We need to talk.” 

“About what?”

Hux sighed and asked a question he wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer to.“You’re angry.Obviously.Why?We are trying to _win_ a war and we can’t even _fight_ it if one of our most capable officers is throwing a tantrum.”

“You couldn’t begin to understand.”His voice was shaking.

“Please,” Hux scoffed, “is the force what’s making you behave like a child?” 

The other man closed the space between them in a few strides. His hand was lifted slightly, fist clenched and shaking, as if he was about to summon the force to choke him.But a second passed.And another.And nothing happened.Through the helmet, Kylo’s breathing was heavy, and harsh.The little space between them seemed electric

“I could kill you.”He hissed.

“But you won’t.I don’t think you can.”The General’s voice was measured.

“Why not?”

_Because there’s too much light in you_.He thought, but didn’t say.He just shook his head.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't super happy with chapt. 2 so hopefully this is a lot better. I made a bomb-ass Kylux playlist and I've been rocking out to it non-stop. Makes writing this even more fun.

Ecstasy.That was the only word for it, or at least the closest thing General Hux had ever felt to it.When he addressed his men, he would begin merely reciting what he had written, but as he went on, the speech would come to life, and possess him, he would cease to be separate from the words, cease to be flesh-bound.He was inseparable from his passion, inseparable from the Order.He did not need the force to be powerful, he didn’t need magic to be bigger than himself.

And he heard his voice, as if it was someone else’s: “Today is the end of the Republic! The end of a regime that acquiesces to disorder!” 

Applause.And then the sky lit up red and bright.General Hux was not one for beauty, but it was undeniable that there was something beautiful about the Weapon, all that massive, world-ending power.He felt the breath slip between his lips in a soft sigh. 

And then everything sprung to life.He passed Kylo Ren and felt their eyes lock through the helmet.He nodded, curtly, and then the man was gone.Snoke’s words echoed in Hux’s head: _these next days will be a test of his loyalty.One he cannot fail._ He found himself hoping, not just for the Order, but for his own sake too, that Kylo Ren would prove himself.So much raw power, so much potential, shouldn’t go to waste.And perhaps there was more to it. 

But there was no time to ponder that.His men were under orders to capture the droid intact if at all possible, and to take the fugitives alive.It shouldn’t be hard.On Takodona they would have seen the Weapon work, seen the Hosnian system obliterated.They should be shaking in their boots, and if they were wise, they wouldn't even try to fight.That was what he told himself.

It was not so.The fighting on Takodona was fierce.Every channel on the comm buzzed with panicked voices.Resistance X-wings seemed to come out of no where, shooting down TIE fighters and taking out men on the ground with disturbing efficiency.For several tense hours, General Hux poured over the monitor in the control room, watching the troop movements and holding his breath, watching the chaos and kicking himself.They should have sent a larger force, if only they had known.They had the men, the fire power.They could have crushed the resistance there and then.It was Kylo Ren who brought the battle to an end.He had captured the girl.He said it was enough, that he had what he came for.They hadn’t managed to get the droid.He said it didn’t matter.The remaining troops pulled out of Takodona, leaving the place in ruins.They returned to Starkiller Base, not victorious, but not defeated.

While Kylo set about interrogating the girl, General Hux paced the hall outside.He was thinking about his meeting with Snoke.Now was the time that would determine the fate of the Order, of the whole galaxy.If Kylo Ren turned on them, that could ruin everything.Hate him as he sometimes did, Hux knew that they needed the man.But for the life of him, he couldn’t imagine Kylo Ren a traitor, more than that, he couldn’t imagine what he would have to do if he _was_.

All of a sudden, Kylo burst from the interrogation chamber, mask off, face pale.For a moment, he didn’t seem to see Hux, but stared through him. 

“What happened to you?”Asked the General, “That girl was bound and gagged.” 

He didn’t expect an answer, but whatever the girl had done to Kylo, it seemed to have loosened his guard, or at least shaken him so much he didn’t know who he was talking to.“She used the force.”He said, “she was inside my head.She saw…”His eyes had a wild, faraway look in them. 

“What did she see?”His voice came out softer than he had intended.

But at that, Kylo seemed to come back to himself.He shook his head slightly and frowned.“That’s no concern of yours.”With that, he turned and strode away, helmet under his arm. 

General Hux hovered a moment outside the interrogation chamber.He wondered what that girl might have seen inside Kylo Ren’s head to make him so distressed.What dark—or light— secrets might be hiding there?Something that General Hux had always prided himself on was his ability to read others.He didn’t need the force to see what was going on behind people’s eyes.It was in their hands, their mouths, the little movements of their feet.But in many ways, Kylo Ren had always been an enigma to him.Perhaps it was that little light in him, throwing shadows.He wished he could look at the man and see the loyalty Snoke was testing.But it was beyond him. 

“General Hux, sir?Captain Phasma wants to speak with you.”The voice, that of a uniformed officer, took him quite by surprise. 

“Yes…of course.”He mumbled.

“Are you alright, sir?”

Hux nodded.“Take me to her.”

Phasma was pouring over a console, the red light of the screen reflected in her armor. 

“Captain?”Asked the general.

“The Weapon is aimed at D’Qar.Poised to wipe out the rebel scum once and for all.But of course they’re already tipped off to that fact.They’ll be sending ships, their best pilots, to try and take out the base.”

“But there is nothing they can do by simply firing on the base.They would have to destabilize the thermal oscillator.And how would they know to—“

“Don’t forget, general, as far as we know, trooper FN-2187 is still with them.He was stationed on Starkiller base before he defected.”

"And what were his duties while he was stationed here?What information could he possibly have?”

"He worked sanitation."Admitted Phasma, "but we cannot be too careful.”

"Of course not."Hux looked down at the screen, the Weapon was charging, slowly.The percentage point climbed little by little."Double the guard around the oscillator, and have guns trained and ready for their attack.We only need to hold them off for a few hours.Once the Weapon is charged, it will all be over.”

"Yes sir, General."

Phasma left to convey the new orders to the troops, meanwhile General Hux lingered over the console a little longer. He tried to recall the confidence he had felt that morning, but he couldn’t find it in him. 

Suddenly, the comm buzzed to life and it was Kylo Ren’s voice. _“The prisoner has escaped!She is aware of her powers, the longer she is out, the stronger she will be.Find her!”_ He sounded irate, on the verge of one of his fits. Hux mumbled an oath and glanced back at the percentage on the screen. _Soon.Soon_.He only had to hold things together a little longer.

But this was only the beginning of the chaos. 

Once the Resistance arrived it took no time at all for things to descend into disorder.Somehow, some of them had slipped in without triggering the alarm and then disabled the shields to make way for the rest.Phasma was missing, ad Kylo Ren was nowhere to be found.General Hux was powerless, watching it all from a control room.The base shook with explosions, but none seemed to destabilize the oscillator.That at least was good.And then the Order rallied, at least for a while, and drove out the Resistance X-wings.Hux was almost screaming into the comm, trying to contact someone, anyone in the field, but all was chaos.He watched the Weapon’s progression with rapt desperation.Just a few minutes more, just a little bit—

The screen flickered to black as a massive blast shook the ground and made the whole base quake. 

One of the officers at the control panel cried out, “They destabilized the oscillator, the Weapon’s destroyed, the whole planet’s imploding!”

The alarms and flashing lights seemed to fade into the background.General Hux’s panic filled his ears, his mouth, made the whole scene look as if he was viewing it through the wrong end of a telescope.Someone was trying to rush him to a ship, but he shook them off.

“Kylo Ren, where’s Kylo Ren?”He was saying. 

“He was fighting the rebels.Somewhere out…out there.”The trooper gestured out at the disintegrating world. 

In with the buzz of panic that was disrupting every other thought in the General’s brain, there was something else, not just a professional, or a strategic concern, but worry.He didn’t just hope that Kylo Ren was alive, he wanted to see him _safe_.And in the moment, he didn’t think to wonder why.

“Form a search party,” he heard himself saying, “I’m going out there.I won’t leave this base until I find Kylo Ren.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short-ish chapter and also the chapter in which Hux has a long-awaited mental breakdown. Enjoy

There was so much blood.The snow around him was red and slick with it.And his face was so pale and marred by a vicious wound.General Hux could hardly believe he was looking at Kylo Ren, didn't want to believe it.He knelt beside the broken man and checked his pulse.It was faint, but it was there.His skin was so cold.Kylo moaned a little under his touch, but did not seem to be conscious. 

“He’s alive!”Hux called back to the search party. 

Just as he spoke, the ground began to shake, another rift began to open just feet from the two of them.In a moment of panic, Hux did the only thing he could think to do: he lifted the other man in his arms and began to run back to the party.Kylo was lighter than he had expected, but still it took a mixture of adrenaline and strange devotion to keep him going.The planet was falling apart beneath their very feet and all General Hux could think was that there was too much blood soaking Kylo Ren’s side, seeping into his own uniform. If he didn’t get to the ship and medical attention soon he would die. 

There was a moment when he seemed to come back to himself.His eyes opened a little and he looked up at the general with bleary confusion.“Hux…” he whispered, “you?”But before Hux could answer, unconsciousness reclaimed him and his head fell against the other man’s chest. 

“You child.”Hux whispered half out of frustration and half to keep himself in character. 

By the time the party reached the ship, General Hux was numb with cold, his arms were aching, and his heart was beating in his ears.Several troopers rushed to his aid, taking the unconscious Kylo Ren out of his arms.Hux followed them dumbly. 

It was the last ship to take off from the crumbling planet.The general watched from the sickbay as they left Starkiller base for the last time.It was surreal.A day ago the galaxy was his for the taking, his perfect, orderly future, so close he could taste it.Now there was nothing but chaos.He looked back at Kylo Ren. 

In that moment, the man looked almost childlike.There was no malice in that face.The heavy brows were smooth, the soft lips slack.This was not the Kylo Ren that Hux knew. 

He cursed himself for going soft and cursed Kylo too.Even half-dead the man was ruining him, bringing chaos into his life, his ship, into the very heart of him.If he did not leave that sickbay he didn’t know what he might do or feel.But he couldn’t force his feet to move or his eyes to look away. 

An officer entered and Hux had a strange urge to shoo the man away, to cover his shame. 

“Sir, what are your orders?” 

For the first time in a long time, Hux realized he did not have a plan.“The Finalizer.”He said, “We need to regroup, reconsider our strategy.” 

“Yes sir.”

“And where is Phasma?” 

“Still missing, sir.”Said the man. 

The general sighed.Phasma could take care of herself, he knew—he hoped.She was too capable a soldier to lose now.“Keep searching,” he said, “but we can’t linger here, we’ll continue as planned.But if anyone picks up her signal, launch a rescue mission immediately.”

“Yes sir.” 

The officer saluted and left.As the door slid shut, Hux looked over to his unconscious companion.Kylo was no longer sleeping peacefully.His lips quivered, his brow was furrowed.He was mouthing something that Hux could not hear, and the general felt an urge, a traitorous urge, to touch the sleeping face, and give what little comfort he could—

_No.Stop_.General Hux stood up, suddenly and strode out of the room, before another thought could cross his mind.He reasoned that he must be sick.In shock perhaps.Or else this was just what Kylo Ren did, got into people’s heads and hearts, bringing all his chaos with him. _Stop.Stop.Stop thinking about him._

He rubbed his face with gloved hands.Perhaps he was tired.He realized he had not slept in well over 24 hours.Yes, that was it.He stripped down, peeling off the dirty, sweaty clothes he had been wearing since the day before.His coat was still sticky with Kylo’s blood.Undressed, he already felt better, cleaner.He didn’t even bother to move the pile of discarded clothes from where they’d fallen.Instead, he turned out the light, putting the mess out of sight and out of mind.The bed was hard and utilitarian, but he was exhausted, and it took him no time at all to fall asleep.

That night, he dreamed. 

He dreamed he was being choked by hands he could not see, crushing his windpipe, squeezing the life out of him.He grappled at his throat, trying to pry them off, but there was nothing solid there.He was squirming, drowning, gasping for air that would not come.And there was Kylo Ren, masked, hand extended, fingers clenched. 

“Please,” Hux gasped, eyes streaming, “please…”But he couldn’t find the breath to finish.

His assailant said nothing, but advanced on him.Coming closer and closer, until there was only a foot between them. 

The world was becoming splotchy and incomplete. 

With weakening hands, Hux reached out for the mask.He took it off with the last of his strength and let it clatter to the ground.He tried to make out the other man’s face, but everything was going dark. 

The last thing he heard was Kylo’s low voice, laced with honey and poison, “I’m doing this because I love you, don’t you see, and I can’t afford to love you.It would make us both traitors.”

Hux sat up suddenly, gasping.His own hands were wrapped around his throat and he pulled them away, slowly, warily, panting heavily. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is everything that has been filling my sketchbook for the past few weeks

The first thing General Hux did when he returned to the _Finalizer_ was bathe.Under the stream of hot water, he felt the cleansing burn and, for the first time in days, let his muscles relax.His back ached and his arms felt heavy and useless.He had done more physical exercise in his escape from the base than he had in all the years since he left the academy.It felt good to hurt like this, to let himself feel the pain.The caked in dirt and dust, the last remnants of the Starkiller base, ran off him in rivulets down his back and legs and were washed away forever down the drain.If only he could do the same with his traitor thoughts.

He dressed in front of a mirror, adjusting his shirt collar to cover the unsightly purple bruises that ringed his neck.He looked like himself again, hair neat, clothes clean, face set. The rebels could destroy his base, kill his men, but they would never break him.And neither would Kylo Ren. 

He kept busy for the next few days.It was not hard.In the aftermath of such a defeat there was always much to do.There had to be new training protocols, new commanders appointed to replace those that had died (he did not, however replace Phasma.She was not dead, after all, only missing), and of course, there had to be a show of force.Hux ordered several small-scale invasions, all of them successful.Morale increased.Even the general’s.He found himself walking with pride in his step again, and purpose in his mind.He knew the Order would triumph yet. 

The meeting with Supreme Leader Snoke was something Hux had wanted to put off for as long as possible.He hoped that perhaps if he made enough progress in the days that followed, Snoke might forgive him his failure at the base.But he was not so lucky.Snoke looked down at him, his disapproval plain on his massive face.

“I expected better from you, General.”He said.

“Supreme Leader, we did all we could.”

“Do not make excuses for your failure.You had every resource at your disposal, and still you lost.”

“I’m sorry, sir.”Hux bowed his head in shame, feeling his cheeks burn and hoping that Snoke could not tell.

“Another defeat on this scale and I might begin to question whether I entrusted command to the right man.There are many who would kill for your position.”

General Hux’s stomach dropped.“Sir, it won’t happen again!”He insisted. 

“No,” agreed the great hologram, “it will not.”

“We’ll punish them for this.Make them pay.The next time we face the resistance head on, I promise you, it will be a victory.”

“For your sake, I hope you are correct.”

Hux turned to go, sensing that the meeting was over.He was nearly at the door when the Supreme Leader spoke again.

“And General, I sense weakness in you.Something I had not felt before…not in you, at least.Be careful, you would not want to let it lead you astray.”

“Yes sir.”

Snoke said nothing more, only looked down at the general with an intensity that almost burned.

Outside in the hall, Hux allowed himself to breathe normally again.He didn’t need to ask the Supreme Leader to know what his weakness was.He was only mortified that it was so plain.This… _something_ he felt was toxic.It had to be stamped out. 

He paced.Back and forth.He thought about his parents.What he remembered of them, anyway.He was so young when they sent him away.His mother was quiet and slender.His father always wore his uniform.Even after the Empire fell.And he would wear black gloves.Hux remembered crying, and a black gloved hand striking him across the face.His father hated it when he cried.

“What are you doing?”He would demand, “Crying?No wonder the other boys bully you.”

“I’m sorry, Father!”

“You’re soft.Too much like your mother.You’ll never be a good soldier.”

That was what he always said. Y _ou’ll never be a good soldier_.Hux was a general and yet those words still rang in his head.Y _ou’ll never be a good soldier_.He was going soft again.Though he hadn’t cried in years, barely remembered what it was to cry, he was soft.This feeling in his chest, this traitor feeling, it was weakness.If his father could see hm now he would be disappointed. 

He paced.

“General Hux?You’re needed in the sickbay.”The voice over his comm woke him from his stupor.

“Why?”

“Lord Ren is asking for you sir.”

Hux felt his throat tighten a little.“I’m on my way.”

Kylo Ren, the powerful and vicious, could not even sit up straight.His shame was evident, written across his scarred face.When Hux entered, he turned away his head, lips pursed.

“General,” he said, almost softly.“Why did you save me?”

“Is that why you called me in here?” 

“Why did you save me?”He repeated.

“It was the practical thing to do.We had already lost the base, we couldn’t afford to lose any more such valuable assets.”He said this as much to convince himself as Kylo.

Silence.And then slowly, he turned to look at Hux.The look in his eyes was fervent, almost delirious.“I’m beginning to think you should have left me.This pain I…it’s like death and it only gets worse.”

“Your wounds?”Hux asked, “Should I get he doctor?”

“Not my wounds, you fool.”He hissed, lips quivering, “The pull of the light.Every day I feel it more.Every day since…Snoke promised it would stop.He said if I could kill my father I would be free of this.But I only feel weaker.”Another long pause.Kylo must be sick, or delusional from whatever they had given him for his pain.He seemed not even to see Hux as he stared at the wall and through it.A sheen of sweat clung to his brow.“You should have let me die,” he said at last, “with my shame.”

“It’s too late now.Besides, this wallowing in self pity will do nothing to ease your pain.”

“What will?”

And then Hux did something he was sure he would regret.He bent over the bed and kissed Kylo Ren square on the mouth.For a moment the other man seemed to be in shock, but then his muscles relaxed and he leaned into the kiss.And it was strange, it was _soft_ , it was everything he had fought so hard to stamp out, but it felt so incredibly, indescribably _right._


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long. I probably agonized over this chapter way too much. I was posting chapters pretty fast because I was trying to get this all done before i go back to school. But I've given up on that idea so I'll probably just post once a week now until the end.

After the first kiss, there was another, and another.They never talked about it.If they did the trance would end all of this would become real.If it became real, there would be consequences.And Hux couldn’t afford that.Not now.So they carried on in secret and in silence.They never went further than kissing.It was innocent, even tender.That was a rare commodity and Hux yearned for it, and took it greedily.He reveled in the warmth of Kylo's lips, and the soft sighs that escaped his mouth, the intimate moments between kisses when he would let his forehead rest against the other man’s and they would simply breathe in each other’s presence.Nothing in Hux’s life had ever been soft, nothing had ever existed purely for pleasure.His world was compartmentalized, organized, sterile, efficient.Everything was new to him.Everything was like a dream. 

But of course, as soon as he left the room, all those feelings had to be tucked away and hidden.He was not just commanding an army, he was reclaiming the galaxy.Now in the aftermath of the disaster at Starkiller base, everything he did mattered so much more. 

Most of his days were spent in meetings.Today was no exception. 

“We have to build another Weapon,” insisted the arms dealer.“We can have it done in half the time it took to build the last one.”

“This disaster occurred because there were unforgivable weaknesses in the design of the Weapon.Weaknesses the Resistance discovered and exploited.And now you tell me the solution is to build it again, and in half the time, making more oversights inevitable.”

“We can correct those mistakes.You have seen the damage our weapon did, that power is vital to the success of the Order.”

General Hux looked down at the plans on the table before him.“And where do you propose we build this?”

“There are thousands of dwarf planets, unpopulated, and close enough to the nearest star to make charging efficient.Just say the word, General and it will be done."

"While it's being built, there is the matter of security.This project would have to be kept secret from the Resistance.That will take round the clock patrols, cloaking, such a massive expenditure of ships and men..."

"Surely the Order has the resources?"

"Of course we do.But it is an investment.Do not waste my time or my men. If I agree to this, I expect success.Do not disappoint me." 

"I wouldn't dream of it, General.If you chose to authorize the construction that is.”

“The Resistance might have struck lucky last time,” Hux thought aloud “but they’re still weakened and without the support of the Republic.One more strike would finish them.I want to meet with your engineers tomorrow, to discuss the specifics of the plans.”

“Yes sir, thank you sir.”

Meeting with arms dealers and manufacturers was only half the battle.The destruction of the Republic left a vacuum, one which was already creating chaos.Hux oversaw appointment after appointment of governors and bureaucrats to fill the void and bow the rebellious spirits of the people.He did not think it was a bad life these people were getting.Far from it, he supposed they must be thankful for the stability, the assurance, of their new government, one that would not be swayed by the popular wind. 

Hux even supposed that when the Resistance was defeated, and the worst of the fighting done, he might like to be a governor of a planet in some far away system, to live out his days in peace and comfort, maintaining order from behind the walls of a vast estate.Yes, that was a good dream indeed.It was not so far off either.In a matter of a year or two the new weapon would be complete, and this dreadful war would be over.

“General?”A lieutenant with a tight bun stood in the doorway and saluted.

“What is it?”

“There’s a resistance X-wing approaching sir.It’s alone, it hasn’t fired a shot.And sir, it’s attempting to open communications with us.Should we allow it?”

Hux didn’t know what to make of this, “Take me.”He said, “Let’s see what they have to say.”

The two of them walked back to the main control deck, which was buzzing with nervous confusion. 

“Open communications,” Hux commanded. 

“About time.I thought you were going to leave me out here to die.”The channel was static-y and inconsistent, but there was no mistaking that voice.

“Captain Phasma.”Hux said, dismayed, “Bring her aboard immediately.” 

The captain was miraculously unharmed, if a little the worse for wear.Her chromium armor was scuffed, and smeared with dirt and blood, though it appeared not to be hers.Hux met with her privately.

“How did you escape the base?”

“The ship I came in.I hijacked it, after I found my way out of the trash compactor,”

“The what?”Hux asked.

“It doesn’t matter.I hijacked the ship, but in the fight it was damaged.Couldn’t reach light speed.It’s lucky you weren’t far away or it might’ve taken me years to find you again.”

“You did this all alone?”

“There were three troopers with me.None of them survived.The first was hit during the escape, another succumbed to dehydration, the last was insubordinate.Had to be put down.”

Even if he spent years as a field officer, Hux thought, he would never be as good as Phasma.No academy could train people that way.Only grit and blood and bile did that. 

He briefed her as to what had happened since she disappeared.“Ren was badly hurt in a battle with one of the rebels.He’s been out of commission ever since, and they say he will not be able to go back into the field for at least a month.When his recovery is complete Snoke says he will finish his training.Until then, we’re without our knight.”

“We’ll make do.I assume I can resume my post as soon as possible.”

“Of course,” said Hux.“How soon is that?”

“Tomorrow, I think.How is morale?”

“Better.And it will only improve with you at the helm, I’m sure.”

They parted ways, Phasma presumably to eat and sleep away her ordeal, Hux to pay a visit to the sickbay. 

At first things went as they always did.Wordlessly.He perched on the edge of the bed and leaned over.It was easy to forget everything outside of that room.No meetings, no appointments, no speeches.There was only him and Kylo Ren.He pushed the other man’s dark hair back from his face and looked down, surveying what was his.When they were finished, satisfied and breathless, Hux rose to leave, to go back to the real world.

But then Kylo did something he never did.

“Stay,” he said, “please.”

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So fun fact: this chapter ended up being totally different from what I planned and I re-wrote my entire outline.   
> Also: I'm working on putting my kylux playlist on 8-tracks because why not. It's taking forever though. I also made a separate tumblr for my art. I've been posting some of my star wars art idk if it's that good but I'm sweetsuesparrow on there too.

“Stay, please.”

“I can’t,” said Hux.

“Please.Just for a little while.”

The near desperation in his voice took Hux so by surprise that he did sit back down, on the far edge of the bed.His heart was pounding against his ribs and he pleaded, silently, that Kylo would not say anything he shouldn’t.Anything that might make it real. 

“What do you want?”He said.

The other man’s eyes were searching the ceiling.“When you go it gets so quiet.There’s nothing to do but sleep and when I sleep I dream of _him_.”

“Han Solo?”

Kylo nodded. 

“I still have duties, you know.”

“Not this late.”That was true. 

“What do you want me to do?”

“Just stay.”He looked down at the space beside him in the narrow bed. 

Perhaps he shouldn’t have, but Hux conceded, and laid down.The bed was hard as a stone slab.Kylo’s shoulder rested against his.Through his woolen uniform, Hux felt the other man’s warmth.He could feel his breathing too, still pained.They didn’t look at each other, or speak for several long moments.It was a strange thing, to simply lay beside someone else, and stay there, doing nothing but breathing the same air.

“I can feel myself slipping,” Kylo said at last, “into the light. It’s stronger than ever.He’s pulling me.Every night, the same dream, he forgives me.He…he tells me to come home.The same thing he said when…”

“Dreams are the worst traitors of all.”Hux said, half to himself.

The silence resumed.He was aware of every place their bodies met.The shoulders, the finger tips, the side of the leg.It seemed that at each point they were tethered, to the bed, to one another.He was careful not to let his breathing sync up with Kylo’s.That seemed too intimate.But he couldn’t control it completely.It _was_ very late, and the silence and the warmth were beginning to take their toll.He blinked his heavy eyes, and the world began to fade.

He awoke to the sound of panting.He was still lying on the narrow bed.It had not been kind to him while he slept.His neck ached and his arm felt stiff.Beside him, he found the source of the noise.A sheen of sweat clung to Kylo’s brow.His eyes were shut tight, but beneath the lids they seemed to move.The scar, healed much but still brutal, stood out inescapably from his pale face. 

Hux sat up and looked down at him, this powerful man reduced to pure emotion, fear and grief, by his own mind.And it occurred to him that he was not looking at Kylo Ren, but someone else.The man in the bed beside him was Ben Solo.He had existed only in stories, in memories recanted bitterly, he was dead, or he should be.This was not something Hux wanted to be privy to.He hated how his heart ached, how his fingers longed to touch, to brush away the sweat-damp hair, to comfort—no.It must be nearly time to get to work, and here he was, still in the clothes he’d slept in.It wouldn’t do.

Back in his quarters he stretched his aching limbs and dressed.He splashed his face with water and looked up at his reflection.His eyes were still the same color, his nose the same shape as it had always been, his mouth was still hard around the edges.There was nothing different, at least, nothing that the mirror could detect.Good.

The General’s mornings were always busy.Briefing with his officers first thing, then the daily address to the men, to boost morale and keep them on task, and then on to whatever business the day might bring.Today he was meeting the engineers of the new weapon.They wanted him to come to them, on some Outer Rim planet he had never heard of in his life.He could have refused, but the truth was he longed for change, the solid ground beneath his feet, the real air in his lungs, wind on his face.

The men were readying his ship when one of the troopers approached him.

"Sir we just received orders from sickbay."

"What orders?"

"They're bringing Kylo Ren aboard, sir."

"What?Why?" 

"Doctors orders sir."

General Hux heaved a sigh.Maybe it was the fresh air they thought Kylo needed.Wasn’t there enough of that on the ship?Or surely they could send him to a different planet to recover.The galaxy was full of them after all.But there was no point making trouble.He would have to reconcile his two worlds for a little while, however uncomfortable that might be. They loaded Kylo aboard on a cot.He was conscious and upright, and avoided eye contact with the general. That was just fine with Hux. 

The trip was mercifully short.On the way, he looked over the plans again.Hux knew that rebuilding the weapon was the right thing to do.It would keep the men busy, keep them feeling productive, and that kind of destructive power was not to be dismissed.But there was a part of him that felt uncomfortable at the idea.Repeating the past again and again made him uneasy.But he had learned to trust his head over his gut in matters of strategy.If only he could do the same in _other_ aspects of his life.

Landing was easy.The ship cut through the dark cloud layer like a knife.The land outside was a forest of smoke stacks, an industrial jungle of tangled streets and towering buildings.What use this fetid planet might be to Kylo Ren and his recovery, Hux did not know, but he hat his own business to attend to.As soon as he stepped out of the cover of the ship, he envied the troopers their helmets.The air smelled of hot metal and smoke.He stifled a cough and hurried after the men who awaited him at the landing pad, a gloved hand clamped over his mouth and nose. 

The meeting went much as he expected it to.There was never a question of whether or not it would be built, he realized that.It was the only thing that made sense, and the manufacturers in the Outer Rim had always been friends to the Order.Even if they left a bad taste in Hux's mouth. The new weapon would be impenetrable, and even if the resistance caught wind of the construction, they would be powerless to stop it.Security would be too tight.They told him so, and he had every reason to believe them.

Escorted by several troopers, General Hux made his way back to the ship. 

"Where did they send Ren?"He asked.

"I don't know, sir."

"Then find out."Returned the general.

The man radioed the medical staff.

"We don't know."

"How can you not know?"The trooper hissed into the comm as if he thought that might keep Hux from hearing him.

"Medical didn't order this trip.Ren wanted to go.He sent us away as soon as we landed.Said he had business to attend to.I think he left the ship."

"Sir," the trooper turned back to him, "The medical staff don't-"

"I heard them." Said Hux."How could he leave the ship?He can barely walk."

"I don't know sir."

"I should put a tracking device on him.Or better yet, a leash."The last part he said mostly for his own benefit."I'll find him myself.You're dismissed."And with that, he left his men behind. 

He searched the little ship and berated the crew.How could an invalid get off the ship with no assistance and no hint as to where he was going?It was negligence.Of course no one could control Kylo Ren, but it was their duty to keep an eye on him.But he couldn't have gotten far.Outside, Hux scanned the dreary cityscape for some clue.There were several streets that led away from the landing pad, more like alleys really, populated by dirty scavengers and beggars indistinguishable from the grimy walls.He made for the nearest one.In his black robe Kylo was almost invisible in the dark of the alley.He was leaning over _something_ on the side of the road. 

"Ren!"Hux shouted, striding down the alley."What do you think you're doing?"

The other man started."I've been waiting for you."He said."I wanted to see you alone.Away from the ship." 

Up close, his face was strained and pale.Standing up was draining him.If he didn't find a place to sit soon he would collapse and Hux would let him.It would serve the fool right.As it was he was bracing himself against the wall, his knuckles white, gripping the rough stone. 

"What was it you wanted to say that had to be so private?"He let a note of _something_ else slide into his voice, and moved a little closer.He wanted it.Now, here, anywhere he could get it.That secret tenderness, that precious warmth.There was no one here to see.

"Where are your men?"

"I dismissed them."

They kissed, deeply, intensely.He felt the rush of satisfaction he always did, that thing which made the crime worth doing.This time something felt different.It made him uncomfortable.Hux thought he could almost taste the light in Kylo.A note of honey, of earnestness, of other things he knew but did not have the words to think about.They broke the kiss only when Kylo became too weak to keep it up.

"I love you."He breathed.

"Stop," said Hux, "stop.You know we can't."He could feel his throat tightening. 

"We could run, go somewhere the Order won't find us. I found a ship.The captain would take us, no questions asked.We could disappear.We could be together.I’ve seen your mind, I know you feel the same.”He was speaking so quickly, it was making the general’s head spin.

“Don't talk like that.”His voice was choked.“Don't ask me to do something I can't do.There's no running from the Order.You might have people who would protect you, but I don’t.Don’t you understand?The Order is all I have.”He felt a flush rising in his cheeks, and his throat was so tight he could barely breathe.“You must be delirious, Ren.You need to sit down.Recover.I’ll pretend I didn’t hear any of this.”

“Don’t,” there was pleading in his eyes.It made Hux’s heart hurt, made his longing worse.

And he hated himself, hated that there was a part of him that had wanted to concede, to run away, to trade what was right for what felt good, and give up everything he had worked to build.He wanted so badly to embrace the chaos.

“This is treason.You know that.Give up this fantasy.Anything we could have, it would be doomed.”In that moment he wasn’t sure if he was talking to the other man at all, or merely thinking aloud. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm taking this class on tragedies, it might be getting to me

Every morning the children used to gather in the great, dark, room and one of the instructors would put on a film.It was not always the same one.Some of them were about great imperials, men in sharp uniforms, with stern faces, who orchestrated the greatest battles of all time, protecting the galaxy from disorder and destruction.They always ended on a happy note.Though the war those brave men fought might have been lost, there was still a chance to triumph, and it was in the hands of the people in that room.Others told of older days, when the galaxy was in the weak hands of the republic, at the mercy of whoever might want it. The children would bite back gasps as the film showed villages being raided, boys and girls just their age being killed, while the representatives of the old republic argued fruitlessly among themselves.It was a lesson in the failure of democracy, in the illusion of freedom that the Republic provided.Or he supposed it was.At the time he had simply watched, in rapt horror, sure that that was what the apocalypse would look like.When those films were over, the children would sit in silence a little longer, their breath still caught in their throats.

“Terrible,” the instructor would say, walking down the long aisle, “what happens when our galaxy is in such weak hands.It is still like this today almost everywhere.Aren’t you lucky that you are growing up under the protection of better leaders?”

The children would mutter nervous assent. 

For the young Hux it had never been about the Force, some distant-seeming battle between dark and light, fought by men he’d never met and never wanted to.It was the clash between order and chaos.Those men on the screen, men like his father, were the only thing that stood between himself, and all the terrors of the galaxy.All he had wanted was to take up that mantle, to be great, to bring peace like there had never been before and could never be under a republic.

He used to wonder if those men had ever been like him.They had all been children once, after all.Some of them must have been small for their age, some of them must have felt homesick from time to time, like he did.Perhaps some had also been scared once, had balked under the weight of all they had to do.

Still he asked himself those questions, tried to measure himself against those great men.Had any of them ever loved?Had his father?Surely his marriage was no more than a matter of convenience by the time Hux remembered him.But perhaps he had loved his wife once.And the others, some of them had married, had children.A few at least must have done it for love.He wondered if any of them had ever struggled like he had, fallen as hard and as fast as he had.It seemed like sedition even to ask himself, _had any of them considered what he had considered_?If they had they must have overcome it, and so too must he. 

General Hux clutched his hands together behind his back as he paced.He had replayed the last day’s events in his mind a thousand times.The meeting in the alley, the way that kiss had felt, so different from all the others, so full of intent.He heard again and again the way Kylo had said _I love you_.There was a part of him that screamed and railed against his skull crying that he should have said _I love you too_.It was true after all.But it would’t do.No, it would only make things worse, more complicated than they had to be.It was true, but it couldn’t be.And what good would come of loving each other?It was fraternization at best.At worst Snoke might find out.He wouldn’t allow Kylo Ren, his precious apprentice, to be so distracted.Kylo had loved his father too, after all.

And even if no one found out, if they carried on in secret, maybe for years, what would come of it?More silence, more secrets.They could never touch in public, never say what they wanted to say out loud.It would be a life of _almosts_ , of discretion, of longing.That was what it was already.It was untenable.How he wished he still knew how to hate Kylo Ren. 

A knock.

“General Hux, sir?”It was Phasma’s voice.

“Come in, what is it?”

The captain entered and stood hesitantly by the door.She was holding something small in her hand.

“Permission to speak freely, sir?”  
What a strange thing to ask.“Of course.”He said.

“General, I would never dream of meddling in your private affairs, you know that.But in order for me to avoid that, sir, they have to be kept _private_.” 

“Excuse me?”

“Sir, you must know that almost every room on the _Finalizer_ is equipped with security cameras.Including the sickbay.”

Hux could say nothing except a quiet “oh.”As the realization, the horror of it sunk in.

“You’re only lucky I was the one who found the footage.No one checks it unless there’s reason to suspect something.It's a good thing for you no one thought there was.”

Phasma might be his subordinate but in that moment he felt lower than her lowest trooper.“What are you going to do with it—the footage?”

“Frankly, sir, I don’t care what you and Ren might have been doing.Both of you are valuable assets, it would be a waste to lose you over some petty thing like fraternization.”She held out her hand.In her palm there rested a little black drive.“The footage.Take it.”

Hux took it from her.It was surprisingly light for something so dangerous.

“Use your own digression as to what to do with it.But I would suggest that you avoid giving the cameras anything else to see.”There was no malice in her voice, at least, no more than usual.

“Thank you.”He said softly.“I know how this must look, I—“

“As I said, sir, I don’t care what you do with Ren.”And with that, she was gone. 

General Hux turned the little drive over and over in his hands.How could he have been so stupid as to forget the cameras?And not just once.It had never crossed his mind.His thoughts had been too addled by want.This is what it did.It made him complacent.It made him stupid.Perhaps he should submit himself for reconditioning.It was what he would have his troopers do, and should he not hold himself to the same, if not a higher, standard as he did them? 

At any rate, he should destroy the footage.Phasma was right, he mattered too much now to be caught for something like fraternization.There was so much still to do.But he ought to watch it first.He should know what Phasma had seen. 

He slid the drive into his console and turned on the projector.The room was filled with flickering blue light as the footage appeared before him. It was strange to watch those moments out of time, a series of kisses, of breaking points, cut together one after another.He watched Kylo’s face between kisses and wondered how he had not realized before where this would lead.They had been doomed from the first kiss, maybe before even that, to love, to suffer.They never stood a chance.

And he saw himself, and watched, as if he were someone else.How could it be that the man he was watching was General Hux?General Hux of the First Order, General Hux of Starkiller base, General Hux who had long ago stopped having qualms about killing.And yet here he was. 

He had understood from a young age that great men could not be good men.In order to protect the galaxy, certain sacrifices had to be made.Lives of course, that was the nature of war, but there was something more subtle too.Compassion, attachment, _humanity_.Great men weren’t cruel but neither could they be kind. He had made himself into the man he was, consciously, willingly.He had built his own cage and gleefully locked himself in.And all it had taken was one man to turn his perfectly constructed self into a prison.He wasn’t even sure if he still _wanted_ to be great.Try as he might to deny it he knew that if he could he would give it up for Kylo, and do it happily.But he also knew that that could never be.He had killed too many, come too far to be anything but what he was.So had Kylo.There was no redemption for men like them, no escape from the paths they were set on. 

He looked up at the projection, it was a moment between kisses.Hux sat on the bed, leaning over Kylo, his hand twisted in the other man’s hair.He was looking down at him, doing nothing but taking him in.Hux turned off the console.The room was pitch black.He didn’t reach for the light. 

If he was another man, he would have screamed.If he was Kylo Ren he would have destroyed the room.But his was a quiet despair. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is late! The original chapter nine was about twice as long as this, so I cut it in half and the rest of it is going to be up next week. I also spent a lot of time marathoning the Clone Wars this weekend. Anyway, enjoy!

Some men, lesser men, might have slipped into despair and stayed there.They might have given up drowned in the bog of their own mind.And though the temptation was there, Hux had no time and no leeway to do it.He was still fighting a war, after all.He couldn’t afford to wallow in self pity.So he tried his best to do as he always used to, disconnect, compartmentalize, keep busy.With more battles to win, more resistance bases to root out, it was not hard to keep busy.

This one was a forest planet, deep green and lush from space.From where General Hux stood, on the bridge of the _Finalizer_ , it looked almost tranquil, but he knew better.The dense jungle was a training ground for resistance fighters, and a base of operations.It was a death trap which had been the end of every force the Order had sent in.The rebels had a network of tunnels beneath the surface of the planet and though scouts would turn up entrances and exists, there was no telling what lay beneath the surface.Every ground assault the Order had attempted had been thwarted quickly from below.Pitfalls into spiked holes, ambushes from trapdoors, it was impenetrable.Aerial attacks too had proved near impossible.The tree cover was too dense, the rebel bases too well hidden.After years of fighting, the Order had clawed out control of just one continent.But that was about to change. 

“General Hux, thank goodness you’re here!”The beleaguered commander saluted with a stiff arm, one which Hux realized, on closer inspection, was a prosthetic.He was older than the General, with graying hair and a crop of unkempt stubble.It was clear the war had not been good to him.“The ambushes have been getting more frequent.We’ve already lost several sectors back to the rebels.I was beginning to think we would have to order a full retreat.”

“Show me the map,” said Hux, turning from the window to face the other man.

The commander obliged, holding out his hand and the small hologram.“All the tunnel entrances are marked, but we have no way of guessing how they connect.We’ve sent scouts, droids, but they never come back.”

The General hummed as he looked over the terrain.“Pull out your men, Commander.”He said, the idea forming in his mind.Whatever else was wrong with him, he still had his strategic wits about him.

“What?”

“Pull them out.We’re going to burn the planet.”

“Burn it?”The commander’s eyes were wide.“But sir, the base is a gold mine of information, all the resistance training protocols and strategies…if we were able to capture the base in tact…”

“Impossible.The priority is getting rid of the rebel base and eliminating the training camp.Valuable as that information would be, we cannot compromise the mission to get it.We will burn this world to the ground.”

“This is an inhabited world, General, the natives-“

“Are collaborators.No better than the rebel scum.”He returned, tersely.“once your men are out, send down incendiary bombs, targeting areas near tunnel entrances,” he gestured on the map.“Any rebels not already underground will have go through hell to get there.”

The commander was nodding along.Hux could see the idea was appealing to him.Getting off the planet that had been the bane of his existence for years, watching it burn, it would be very tempting. 

“And of course,” he said, “our ships will ensure that no one gets off this planet alive.Nothing will make it out, and when the forests are clear, we’ll destroy every exit to the tunnels.Any rebels hiding there will be buried.” 

“Yes sir,” said the commander. 

And so it was.Hux watched from the bridge.At first there was little to see from space but soon the conflagration began to spread, to consume the entire planet.He imagined the state of things down there.The air would be choked with smoke, filled with the din of an ecosystem collapsing.Perhaps they would try to douse the flames, but it would be fruitless.These were no ordinary bombs.They were designed to cleanse planets and to do so efficiently.There would be no stopping the blaze and no escaping it.

Hux felt Captain Phasma’s eyes on him.She stood a few feet back, ostensibly checking progress on a monitor.He knew what she was thinking, what she was looking for.But she wouldn’t find it.He would not let her see change in him, no signs of weakness.He was still himself, he still knew what was right, what he had to do.He was still the best at what he did.He would prove it to her, and to himself.

“Captain,” he said, careful to keep his tone measured as ever, “how does it look?” 

“Very good sir.The fires have consumed 46% of the forests so far, and our ships have made short work of every attempt to escape.”

He liked making her praise him.Suspect him though she might, Hux could tell that Phasma still respected him, and that she knew his strategy was sound.“Another world closer to D’Qar and the resistance headquarters.If things continue this way, we may not need to use the new weapon.” 

“Yes sir.”

“And Captain, ready your men.When the fires have died down, do a sweep of the base.There may be some valuable intelligence that survived the flames.”

“Yes sir.”

Hux turned back to the view.He heard Phasma leave and the door slide shut behind her.As long as he kept winning, he knew the captain would keep his secret.And so he _must_ keep winning.His strategy to take planet was a resounding success.He watched the world burn and when there was nothing left but ashes, he oversaw Phasma’s sweep of the base.A few rebels had survived in the tunnels.Several young trainees and an officer, all of whom surrendered.The heat of battle had kept him busy and brought him back to himself.He felt that old self assurance stiff in his spine, the ice in his veins, the steel in his heart.And it felt good.But it wore off all too quickly. 

After the surrender, Hux found himself in his office, pouring a drink for the commander.The man looked as if a great weight had just been lifted from his shoulders and an aura of ease, of pride, had taken its place. 

“That was brilliantly done, General.”He said, raising his glass, “congratulations.”

“Thank you, commander.”

“You know, I knew your father, back in the old days.”

Hux sat his drink down.“You did?”

“Indeed.He was a great man.A brilliant commandant.”

“Yes, he was.”His father’s name had worked wonders for his career, and yet it always brought a shadow over his thoughts.

“I was sorry to hear of his passing.He…never lived to see you make the rank of general, did he?”

“No.”

“Such a shame.I’m sure he would have been very proud.”

“Thank you, commander.”Hux fortified himself with another long sip from his glass.

“So much has changed since the old days General, more than you know.But the war, that hasn't changed a bit."The older man refreshed both of their glasses."Order, stability, it's an uphill battle.For every small victory there's another crippling defeat.But if anyone can make this right, it's you, General.You'll go far, you already have."

"You flatter me, Commander."The man wanted something, Hux suspected.A better assignment, a promotion, maybe a plush assignment alongside the general himself.Hux didn't mind.If that's what he wanted, let him try and get it.He was not one to turn up his nose at praise, especially now.

"I assure you, it's all true.I remember your father telling me that his son had entered the academy.He had a great deal of faith in you."

_Then either he was lying to you or he was lying to me_ , Hux thought.Whatever feelings the man had had for him, faith was not one of them.Contempt, perhaps, on a good day an absence of disappointment.His father had never cared much for him.That much was always clear.But if the commander wanted to flatter him this way, so be it."That's very good to hear."He said, finishing his glass and filling it again.

"But tell me, General, I hear you're sharing your command with Kylo Ren, is that true?"

"It is."Said Hux. 

"My condolences.I’ve known men like Ren.For all their magic, their boasting, they're weak.Ruled by their emotions.”

The general hummed in agreement.“He certainly can be… _difficult_.But he’s a good soldier, an important asset.And the Supreme Leader has high hopes for him.”

“Of course.But be careful, general.He’ll burn himself out eventually, they always do.You don’t want to be too close to him when that happens.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm really sorry I didn't update for like a week. As I get closer to the end of this fic I have to keep tweaking things about the outline. And we are getting pretty close to the end. I also had a TON of work this week, and I'll continue to be pretty over worked for the rest of the month (between school work and internship apps I'm regretting ever becoming an adult) but I'll try to keep publishing every week.

General Hux was not a drinking man.  But that night he was not himself so it didn’t matter.  He finished what was left in the bottle after the commander left, drank it straight, without bothering with a glass.  Something about that man unsettled him.  He’d known cloying men before, flatterers and sycophants, shameless social climbers who wanted to use him or to be him.  None of that bothered him.  He’d long ago stopped seeing fault in ambition.  But this man was something else, made him feel something else, and he didn’t like it.  He told himself that he was being paranoid, that this whole business of keeping secrets was getting to him.  He was tired too.  Perhaps it was the drink, or the long days battle that had drained him.  Whatever it was, he forgot all about it the moment his head hit the pillow. 

He could have slept an age, if he had been allowed to. 

He woke suddenly to the hiss and the glow of a lightsaber.

“What…”  Hux mumbled with slurring lips.  His eyes felt heavy and his brain muddled.  He could only just make out the shape of a man, a familiar man.  “Ren?” 

“Stay down.”  He hissed, “there’s someone else in the room.”

The darkness of his quarters began to take shape, though focusing his eyes only made his head hurt.  “What are you talking about?” 

Kylo didn’t answer, but seemed to be scanning the room.  All of a sudden there was a bright flash, followed by an explosion as the blast made contact with Ren’s lightsaber.  Someone moved, silhouetted briefly in the glow of a console.  Another shot, this one cut dangerously close to Hux’s face, striking the headboard behind him.    And then the figure flew back, and Kylo advanced, arm outstretched.  He was holding the assailant against the wall with one hand, and with the other, he held his lightsaber to the other man’s throat.  In the glow of the saber, Hux could just make out the uniform of a trooper.  Another traitor?

“Who sent you?”  Kylo demanded.

 The man was either too stunned or too insolent to answer.

“Who sent you?”  He repeated, letting the would-be-assassin slide down the wall and crumple to the floor. 

When he was met with silence again, he roughly removed the trooper’s helmet.  Bleached of color in the red glow, he looked like a ghost.  His hair was too long to be a trooper’s.

“You know, I don’t need you to talk to find out what you’re hiding.”  Kylo’s voice had softened to a dangerous purr. He held his hand out, inches from the man’s face.

Drunk and groggy as he was, Hux could only watch all this in mild confusion.  Whatever Ren was doing to the man it seemed to be working.  The intruder strained and whimpered under some invisible pressure, craning his neck fruitlessly as if in an attempt to escape the probing of the force. 

“It wasn’t the resistance that sent you.”  Kylo hissed. “So who was it?  Who _was_ it?”

At that, the man threw back his head and moaned, “I’m just a bounty hunter.  I don’t ask questions.  We only ever communicated through middle men and written messages.  I never saw a face.  But it was one of you.  Someone who could get me in.  That’s all I can tell you.  I swear!”

“Useless.”  Mumbled Kylo, half-heartedly running the man through with his saber.  He turned back to Hux.  “Are you alright?”

“Yes,” he said, rubbing his eyes, “but…what…”

“You’re drunk.”  The other man sounded equal parts amused and irritated.

“I wouldn’t be if you had let me sleep.”  Said Hux.  “How did you know to come here?”

“I sensed that something was wrong, that you were in danger.  You’re lucky I did.”

“Thank you,” he said grudgingly. 

“He said it was someone in the Order that hired him,” Kylo said.  His face was in shadow but Hux imagined the way his brow must be furrowed, the troubled frown on his lips.  “Who wants you gone so badly?”

“Phasma,” Hux breathed as it dawned on him.  It all made sense.

“Phasma?  Why would she-“

“She knows about—everything—about us.  She must have decided I was too weak, decided to take matters into her own hands...”

“Of course!”  He spat, “she was always too ambitious.  Get dressed.  We'll find the captain and get the truth out of her.”

Hux got out of bed with a little difficulty, and pulled on his uniform, not bothering with the light.  His hands were damp with sweat and shook as he buttoned his shirt, but the act was so habitual he had no trouble doing it in the dark.  His hair must be a mess but that, he decided, didn’t matter.  He ran his fingers through it once then turned and followed Kylo into the corridor outside.  For a second the brightness blinded him, and he had to throw up a hand to shield his burning eyes.

“You’re a mess.”  Kylo remarked. 

If Hux had had his wits about him he would have been indignant, maybe even mortified.  But between the lingering influence of the drink and the urgency of the situation, he was able to put those feelings to the back of his mind. 

They found Phasma alone on the bridge, sifting through what looked like personnel files.  Her helmet was off and sitting atop the the console, and her short cropped blonde hair caught the blue light of the hologram. 

 “Ren,” she said turning to face them, “General Hux, can I help you?”

“Oh I think so.”  Hux spat.  “Be honest, Phasma, you sent that assassin to my quarters.  You thought you’d get rid of me.”

“What?”  Her eyes widened in what appeared to be genuine surprise.  “What are you talking about?  What assassin?”

“The one you hired to kill me.  The one you furnished with a trooper’s uniform, who you let aboard so that, what, you could get rid of me while I was compromised?”

The captain backed up, still looking confused.  “I have no idea what you’re talking about!  If I wanted you gone I could just turn you over to High Command, it would be easy.  But I wouldn’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“Because for some reason, General, I actually like you.  At least for old times’ sake.”

“She’s telling the truth,” said Kylo, “I can feel it.”

“Whoever it is,” Phasma cut in, “they have access to uniforms, pass codes, this is a serious breach of security.”

“It was someone inside the Order,” said Hux, “we got that much out of the assassin.”

Phasma pursed her lips, “that’s unsettling.  I swear to you, I had nothing to do with this, but I can help you find who did.”

Hux glanced over at the other man and they exchanged a brief affirmative nod.  Phasma was alright.  “Thank you, Captain.”  He said.  “Check the security footage, see how he got in and if anyone helped him.”

The woman cracked a smile, “it’ll be like the old days at the Academy.  Solving mysteries, getting into trouble.”

“ _I_ got into trouble,” Hux said, the warm memories easing his nerves a little, “ _you_ just started it.”  He turned to Kylo, “we should contact the Supreme Leader.  If there’s some sort of conspiracy afoot, he should know.” 

Phasma left for the Security floor while the two men lingered on the bridge.

“Are you sure contacting Leader Snoke is a good idea?”  Kylo asked after a moment.

“No.”  Hux admitted, “But what else can we do?”

“He could be involved in all this, if he sensed-“ 

“That’s a risk we have to take.  If he doubts my loyalty, I’ll prove myself to him, show him there’s no reason to get rid of me.  And if he isn’t aware of the plot, then he might be the only one who can stop it.”

In the long silence that followed, Kylo looked him over, his expression inscrutable, perhaps it was pity, or frustration.  It was the same look he had given Hux in that alley, the day he made that terrible, impossible, offer.

In the meeting chamber, the hologram-Snoke towered over the two of them.  Trying to suppress the tremor in his voice, Hux explained the situation, careful to avoid mentioning anything _incriminating_. 

“This is very troubling indeed,” said the Supreme Leader, “it seems that we have another traitor in our midst.  A resistance infiltrator.”

“We are investigating the matter as we speak,” Hux added, “we’ll catch whoever is behind this.”

“No,” the great voice echoed through the chamber, “you will return to the Unknown Regions, and you will remain there until we catch the infiltrator.  If the resistance were to capture you, General, the consequences could be dire, you know too much.”

“But sir, with all due respect, these last few weeks we’ve made great headway into the rebels’ stronghold, victory is imminent, but only if I remain on the front lines.”

“You _will_ return to the Unknown Regions, General, this is not a matter for debate. Kylo Ren will accompany you.  It is time for his final training.”

“Yes sir.”  There was nothing else to be said.

“We have to do as he says,” Hux insisted once the two of them stood safely outside the chamber.

Kylo said nothing.  He had that look he sometimes got, when one could almost see the battle raging behind his eyes.  There was so much power in that face, and so much vulnerability.  No wonder he always wore the mask.  Hux felt an urge to kiss him then.  They hadn’t touched in days, since the alley, the offer…  But he couldn’t.  No.  There was a reason he had been avoiding Ren.  It was better for both their sakes.  Merciful.

“I’ll have a ship prepared.  There’s no reason to turn the _Finalizer_ back now.  Captain Phasma can lead the assault in our absence and,” he paused, that commander, so intent on flattering Hux, perhaps he’d give the man a chance, “I’ll have another officer take care of the rest of my business while we’re gone.”

“Something isn’t right,” Kylo spoke at last, “I can sense it.”

Hux could too.  It didn’t take the force to know that what Snoke had said did not make sense.  The Supreme Leader had an agenda all his own, one the two of them could only guess at.  “My father,” he said, after a long pause, “believed in competition, in survival of the fittest.  He would say that if Leader Snoke sees weakness in me, if he wants to replace me and if he _can_ , then perhaps it’s for the best.”

“Do you believe that?”  Asked his comrade.

He didn’t answer.


	11. Chapter 11

            Hux had his men prepare a small, two-man shuttle.  There was no need to waste manpower on such a mission, and as it turned out, Kylo was a competent pilot.  He suspected he knew where the man had learned it, but didn’t say so.  They were both silent.  Half preoccupied and half pretending to be preoccupied so as to avoid the need for conversation. 

For his part, Hux avoided Kylo’s eyes and watched the kaleidoscope of hyperspace outside.  It wouldn’t do to dwell on the present in all its unpleasantness so he thought instead about the future.  Not his future, that would open doors to worry, start him wondering how much future he had left.  No.  He was thinking about a larger future, about the children, not yet born, who would sit in a great dark room like the one at the Academy, and watch films about this war.  When they learned about the heroes, the victors, they would learn of Supreme Leader Snoke, and of his apprentice, who came to greatness from the most surprising of places.  And they would learn about General Hux who might by then be long dead.  And what would the film show?  What would the archives say?  General Hux, the hero, General Hux, the mastermind, General Hux, who did what had to be done and never winced at his duties.  Or would history betray him, call him Hux the traitor, Hux, who fell in love and lost his way, Hux, who, though he had every chance to be great, threw it away.  Or worse still, would his name not be mentioned at all?  Would he be wiped from the archives like a stain on History—stop. 

Worry had crept in and his eyes had wondered from the viewport to the pilot beside him.  Kylo Ren had that expression he often had these days, looking without seeing, mouth and eyebrows almost mimicking determination, but losing it.  _Embattled_ was the word for it, or _besieged_.  Hardened and softened all at once.  That last battle of the Starkiller Base had left him with more than a scar, Hux thought, and he supposed he knew the feeling. 

The other man seemed to sense his eyes on him.  “What?”

“I was just wondering if you really know where you’re going.  You turned off navigation.  This isn’t the route they gave us.”

“It’s a shortcut.”  A long pause.  Kylo seemed to be searching for words, “it wouldn’t be in the Order’s charts.”

“Why not?”

“This is an old smuggling route.  It isn’t the safest but it’s fast.  We’ll only need to refuel once.”  Something had entered his voice, a kind of cavalier confidence that didn’t sound like Kylo Ren at all.

“Don’t you think this is a little risky?  I don’t suppose the First Order has many friends out here.” 

“Trust me.”  There it was again, as if someone else was speaking through him, someone Hux did not know but thought he recognized.

            “If there’s one thing I’ve learned after this mess it’s that _that_ only leads to trouble.”  Muttered Hux.

            At that moment the ship’s communicator beeped insistently. 

“It’s the _Finalizer_ ,” Hux said, “hopefully your little shortcut isn’t going to get us in trouble.”

But it was Phasma who appeared in the hologram and she had not called to reprimand them.  “General,” she said, “I’ve reviewed the security footage from last night.”

“Did you find anything?”

“Yes and no.  The footage was tampered with.  Someone had control of the cameras and turned them off just as the bounty hunter was breaking in.  Just for a few seconds, it would have been easy to miss.  I almost didn’t catch it myself.”

“So what _did_ you find?”

“I should be able to find out where the cameras were accessed from.  Whoever this traitor is he can’t cover all his tracks.  Once I find out where he accessed the cameras, I can start narrowing down the suspects.  I’ll catch whoever did this.  But you two have bigger problems.”

“What do you mean?”  Asked Hux.

“Our transmissions were intercepted by the resistance.  After so many losses they’re going to do anything they can to strike back at the Order and we have reason to believe they’re tracking your ship.  I assumed you must have known since you changed your route.  If you were trying to avoid them it isn’t working.  You’ve got a Resistance ship on your tail as we speak.  We could send backup but it wouldn’t get there in time.  If they aren’t trying to take you out, then they might be using you.  You’ll lead them right to Supreme Leader Snoke and the heart of the Order.”

Kylo’s fist slammed down on the communicator, cutting off the transmission.  He muttered an expletive and, with a sudden jolt, pulled the ship out of hyperspace.

“What are you _doing_?”  Hux demanded.

“We can’t lead them to Snoke,” he said, “we’ll have to change ships, get in something they can’t track.”

“And how do you propose we do that?”

“There are plenty of shipyards out here.  All we have to do is requisition one.”

“All while giving those bastards a chance to catch up to us.  We’ll be dead before we get off the ground.”

“We’ll be dead either way.  Once we lead them to Snoke they’ll shoot us down.”

The General didn’t care for either option, but held his tongue. 

Kylo set about plugging in coordinates, Hux supposed for the nearest shipyard.  He had never seen Kylo Ren like this before.  He was in his element, that was undeniable and the thought crossed his mind, as it sometimes did, that maybe this wasn’t Kylo Ren at all.  Only the son of Han Solo could speak like that, could navigate smuggling routes and Outer Rim shipyards with such confidence.  It unsettled Hux, this apparition, this man who should be dead.  Another contradiction he did not want to be privy to, lest it rub off on him.  Not that he had much of a choice.

It was at that moment that something much larger than the little shuttle came out of hyperspace behind them, something familiar. 

“ _Blast_.”  He breathed.

Kylo said nothing for a long moment, a look of pure hatred settling into his features.  “It’s _them_ , I should have known.”

            “Them?”

            “The girl and her friends.  The one who gave me this,” he gestured at the long scar across his face.

            “This ship isn’t equipped with any weapons, we don’t stand a chance in a fight.  You’ll have to work out your personal issues later, Ren.”

            With a nod, the man seemed to acknowledge that Hux was right, not that he would say it aloud.  He booted up the hyperdrive.  As the little ship began almost to vibrate with the power of it he spoke, “we can’t outrun the _Falcon_ , not for long, but our hyperdrive can warm up faster than theirs.  It might give us the head start we need to-“

            But at that moment the shuttle was wracked with a powerful explosion.  The lights flickered and an alarm began blaring from somewhere overhead. 

            “We’re hit!”  Said Kylo, trying frantically to regain control of the ship. 

            “I noticed!”  Hux exclaimed. 

            Another blast as the _Falcon_ ’s laser canon ripped through the starboard wing of the ship.  The tiny cabin was filled with smoke and the sound of the alarm. 

            “Why are they shooting at us?”  Hux managed, eyes watering, throat burning as he choked on the fumes of melting plastic and fried wires.  “I thought they needed us to lead them to Snoke!”

            “Not if they’ve been intercepting out transmissions.  Command sent us the coordinates, they already know where we’re going and all that’s left for them to do is make sure we don’t get there.”

            Another explosion, this one just missed the shuttle, but the force of it shook the tiny craft.

            “We have to try and land on that planet.”  Said Kylo.

            They were spiraling down toward the planet’s surface.  As they reentered the atmosphere the turbulence ripped off what was left of the crippled starboard wing.  In the confusion Hux got a sense of grey oceans, sheer cliffs, pastures.  It was almost familiar, but there was no time to process it.  They were plunging down, down toward the sea below.  _By the Maker don’t let this be a water landing_ , he pleaded internally.  Now was not the time to admit he couldn’t swim.  But then there was a beach, a sickening crunch as the ship met earth, and a skidding, tumbling, nauseating, landing.  He felt his head strike the cabin wall as they came to a final halt on the pebble beach. 

The ship was upside down.  Kylo unfastened his safety belt and somehow managed to land on his feet.  Hux was not so lucky.  He fell, unceremoniously, to the ground and followed the other man out into the open air.  Once on the beach he vomited spectacularly, falling to his hands and knees on the uneven ground and gripping at the cold, black pebbles for some sense of security.

“Do you think…they’ll follow us…to make sure?”  He managed at last.

“I can’t sense them at all.  They must have left us for dead.”

“Where are we?”

“Arkanis.”

It took a second for the information to sink in.  “Arkanis?  Are you sure?”

“Yes, why?”

Hux straightened up and looked around.  The storm-tossed ocean, the pale cliffs, the smell of rain-soaked pastures and salt water.  He remembered it, through the veil of decades.  It was unmistakably Arkanis.  “This is where I was born.”  He said after a long pause.  “My father ran the officer’s academy here before…”

“Do you remember it well?”

“Well enough.  There’s nothing here but sea monsters and nerfherders.  We’ll have a blasted hard time finding a new ship here.  I don’t suppose you still have your communicator?  You broke mine.”

The other man checked but came up empty handed. 

“Brilliant.  Well supposing we still want to _try_ and survive we should get off the beach, away from the water.  Uunless we want to become fish-bait.”

With much effort, the two of them managed to hike up above the beach.  Hux’s legs threatened constantly to turn traitor and give out under him, and though he suspected he had emptied the entire contents of his stomach onto the shore, his gut still lurched dangerously with every step. 

With some high ground gained, they were afforded a better view of the area.  Nothing had changed in the nearly thirty years since Hux had left.  The grey-green hills were still dotted sparely with little huts, the air still chilly and perpetually wet with a light drizzle.  Though governments had changed and war had wracked the galaxy, this place was still the same.  Untouched, uncaring, so strange yet so familiar. 

“There must be a port, somewhere we can find a ship, or at least a communicator.”  Said Kylo at last. 

“There is one.  Scaparus.  It wasn’t far from the Academy.  But if it’s anything like it was when I lived here, we won’t be welcome.  Not dressed like _this_.”

“They don’t have to welcome us, only to comply.”  Said Kylo, “and if they don’t,” he patted his belt and the hilt of his saber, “we’ll manage something.”

He wasn’t wrong.  “The only problem is we don’t know where we’ve landed.  We could be a click away, or a thousand.”

Kylo closed his eyes.  He seemed to be meditating, focusing intently. 

“What are you doing?”

The other man glared at him.  “I’m _trying_ to sense the life-forms nearby.  To see how far away the nearest highly populated area is.  Something I can’t do if you interrupt me.”

The General Humphed but stayed silent. 

He did not believe in gods or fate and yet it seemed like only some higher power with a cruel sense of irony could arrange this, bringing him back here now, as if to remind him how far he’d gone astray from his father’s legacy.  He only remembered that part of his life in flashes.  Back when his mother had been alive, when his father had had faith in him.  He used to watch the cadets from his bedroom window and wonder, excitedly, when he would be one of them.  And he remembered when it had all fallen apart.  The night had been cloudy, the moon hidden, the lights of uncountable ships like a galaxy of stars.  They were evacuating.  He had been small, crying, been handed up to a trooper in a transport and whisked away from the lost planet.  It was like a dream now.

“I can sense a town or… something populated.  It must be the port.  We aren’t far,” Kylo spoke at last, “a day’s walk, I think.”

A day’s walk on his battered legs was an unpleasant prospect, but, he supposed, not as unpleasant as the alternative. 

They set off north, along the cliffs.  Bellow them, great, dark waves broke against the rocks, unfriendly and cold as the void. 

At length Kylo spoke.  “The Order must think we’re dead.  The Resistance certainly does.  No one in the galaxy knows we’re here.”

“What’s your point?”

“I don’t know.”  He averted his gaze.

Hux suspected, “you know we can’t.”  He said.  “I’ve thought it too, how could I not?  It would be so easy.  But I won’t do it, I can’t.”  He was talking as much to himself as to Kylo.  “Men like us can’t just give up war and live as if we could be happy.  We can’t escape.  We _are_ the war and we always will be.  I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to run.  But we just can’t.” 

The sun was setting on the sea.  The sky was staining red and purple, and, some distance away, in a valley between two cliffs, was a cluster of tiny lights and the promise of civilization.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the second to last chapter of Blackbird, so if you've stuck with it this long, thank you! Like said from the beginning, I wasn't sure entirely how this would end for a long time (if you've been keeping up with the notes then you know I've re-written my outline at least twice since I started), but now, without giving too much away, I just want to warn you that there may well be a character death warning on the next chapter. I didn't want to add it until I was sure, but I also don't want to mislead people, so I just want to warn you. I hope you enjoy this chapter because I feel like you all will hate me by the time this over.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, the last chapter. I hope you enjoy it and still love me when it's over. And fair warning, it's really long. I've broken it up in a few places so it isn't just a giant block.  
> Also, sorry about the formatting, pasting it in from word it got a bit wonky.

            Hux used to dream about coming back to Arkanis when he was young.  The cold, dark world they had fled to never felt like home and the academy he was sent off to was miserable.  His father ran it, as he had run the officer’s academy on Arkanis, but he never saw him, save when he got in trouble.  The other children were even worse than the adults, nasty and vindictive.  He did not have a friend in the universe.  Every night in the cold, dank, dormitory Hux would curl under the blankets and hope the dream would come again.  In his childlike mind it had been something triumphant.  A homecoming.

            The reality of it was very different.  Everything had changed.  The lonely little boy had grown up.  He had learned not to cry but to be like ice.  He had conquered his fear, conquered the academy, conquered star systems.  He had stamped out every little soft thing inside him until he didn’t long for home anymore.  He had no home now, save the front lines.  Arkanis had faded into memory, and memory had faded almost to nothing. 

            The sun was rising over the hills as the two finally reached the port.  They had not spoken, not since that last, aborted conversation and the silence between them seemed to have solidified, evolved into something sentient, ambulatory, which walked with them, between them.  When Hux finally chanced a look Ren, he had to turn away almost at once.  The truth was Kylo Ren was beautiful, especially like this, windblown, unaware.  The General could not risk looking, wanting, no.

            “What?”  Ren must have sensed him looking.  He killed the silence with that one sharp word.

            “It’s nothing.  We’re almost there.  There should be a communications both near the harbor.”  His voice was horse from lack of use.

            “I hate to say it,” said the other man, “but you were right.  I was weak when I said those things.  When I—the light—I lost control.  The sooner we get to Supreme Leader Snoke the better.”

            Hux hummed his agreement.  Kylo should know by now that he was always right.  He did not know what Kylo’s final training might be.  All that sith magic baffled him.  But he knew it would mean an end to this—whatever it was.  Some little, traitorous part of him was sorry.  A faint voice that cried out that Hux was about to give up the only good thing he had.  He bit it back and tried to swallow it.

            “We’ll have to deal with the rebels before anything else.”  Was all he said.

            The two men garnered wary glances from the townsfolk, but they met with no resistance.  The communications booth that Hux had remembered was long gone.  When he thought about it he supposed that made sense.  Its business had been entirely imperial cadets and officers and their channels were long since silent.  There had to be a change of plan. 

            There were, unfortunately, only two kinds of ships on Arkanis.  Fishing vessels not suited for space travel let alone light speed, and the transports which came to collect the day’s catch and take it to markets off world.  These transports, though spacefaring, were old, shoddy things which might be able to make the jump to hyperspace but were just as likely to explode.  All of that to say nothing of the smell.  But that, Hux supposed, was their only option.

            There was only one such ship docked at the harbor and no pilot in sight.

            “Probably in the cantina.”  Hux said, “Arkanis is a planet of drunks.  It’s the only thing to do besides fishing and nerf-herding.”  He looked the hulking thing over.  “Can you fly it?”

            “I can fly anything.”  There was that cocky tone again. 

            He had to remind Ren who was really in charge, keep him in his place. “Let’s hope you can land anything too.  Last time didn’t exactly fill me with confidence.” 

            Kylo glared at him.

            Breaking into the ship— _requisitioning_ it—was easy enough.  No one was out on the dock to object, and even if someone had, there was nothing they could have done.  No, the problems arose once they were airborne. 

            “The communicator seems to be working,” Hux said, fiddling with the thing, “but it’s so outdated I doubt it can pick up the Order’s frequencies.  We’re on our own until we get back to friendly territory.”

            Kylo mumbled something indistinct and unpleasant. 

            As Hux left the atmosphere of Arkanis for the second time in his life, he felt, just for a moment, that traitor longing, a little pull, a whisper in the deepest part of his mind that begged him not to go, not to leave his home again for somewhere he might never return from.  He turned from the viewport, and smothered the little voice before it could cry again. 

            The old ship groaned in protest as Kylo made the jump to light speed but, with a great shudder, it complied.  Hux looked over at the other man a few times, half wanting to speak to him, but each time he thought better of it.  They had said everything that they could say, hadn’t they?  What else was there?  He couldn’t risk a conversation.  Kylo kept his eyes fixedly on the controls.  His mouth was hardened, his brows furrowed.  He looked troubled, though Hux supposed he always did.  _He hadn’t when they were kissing_.  Stop. 

Perhaps when he completed his training, Snoke would give Ren another mask, hide that troubled, troubling face away again.  Hux remembered when he first met Kylo.  He, younger and nervous, on his first command as general, and Ren, like a bomb, full of anger, passion, grief, hidden neatly behind a mask.  There had been no confusion then, no grey area.  He had known where they stood.  He told himself that was all he needed, for Kylo to wear a mask again.  Then things would go back to the way they were.

He wasn’t sure how long his mind had wondered, but he was only shaken from his reverie by the great lurch of the ship coming out of hyperspace. 

The ships comm beeped almost at once.  Hux felt a great rush of reassurance as he answered the communication and the hologram before him was that of a uniformed officer.  He almost laughed with relief but stopped himself.

“You are entering restricted space,” said the man, “identify yourself.”

“This is General Hux requesting permission to land.”  He said, doing his best to keep his voice crisp as ever.

“General?  We—we’d been told you and Lord Ren were shot down, we assumed you were dead.”

“We _were_ shot down.  Ren and I survived and commandeered this ship.  Now please, let us land.  We must speak with the Supreme Leader.”

“That…might be difficult.”  Admitted the officer.  “The whole planet is on lockdown, a Resistance ship slipped past our sensors, we’re trying to contain them before they reach Leader Snoke.”

Kylo’s fists were clenched, and somewhere behind him Hux heard the crash of an empty fish barrel breaking against the wall.

“Control yourself!”  He hissed at the other man.  Then he turned back to the hologram.  “Well seeing as how we aren’t the Resistance, I don’t see how letting us land could be so hard.  Being difficult now will not do anything to negate your carelessness earlier.”

“I’m sorry sir I only thought you’d want to wait until the problem is dealt with.  It isn’t safe.”

“Ren and I can handle ourselves.”

“Yes sir.  I’ll clear you to land, right away sir.” 

* * *

 

Supreme Leader Snoke made his base on an old, dying planet deep in the Unknown Regions.  If it had had a name, no one remembered it.  It was said that the only thing holding the ancient rock together was Snoke’s dark force energy.  Around this unstable capital, the Order had grown, even flourished for decades out of the reach of the Republic.  Hux had never actually been to this planet.  He supposed the Supreme Leader must not have judged him worthy of his presence until now.  Kylo however seemed to know this world well.  He landed the bulky craft easily in a stone courtyard. 

There was no one in sight.  Somewhere, far off, sirens were blaring.  The whole place felt _wrong,_ somehow.  Hux turned to his companion to see if he felt the same.  The other man looked as uneasy as he felt.

“She’s here,” said Kylo, “the girl.  Our traitor trooper is with her.” 

Hux’s hand found the blaster at his belt.  He hadn’t used it in years and even then it had been in a simulation. 

“The Supreme Leader’s chamber is that way,” Ren gestured toward a narrow, pointed archway that led into the great stone building.  “Down the hall.  You’ll know it when you see it.”

“You say that as if you aren’t coming too.”

“I’m not,” he said, “I have business to settle with the girl.  I’ll join you when I’m finished.”

Hux didn’t much like that idea but he suspected he didn’t have a choice.  He proceeded the way Kylo had pointed.  The building—palace—he didn’t know what to call it, was ancient.  The passageway was long and unlit save for the little sunlight which filtered through the narrow windows.  A back way, he supposed. He wasn’t sure what he had expected Snoke’s headquarters to be but this was not it.  It smelled of mildew and ages.  Strange acoustics warped the sounds of the General’s footsteps—he could swear there was an extra step just out of sync with his own, but every time he turned round he saw only the empty hall behind him.  The sooner he found Snoke and got out of this blasted place the better.  Dealing with a conspiracy aboard the _Finalizer_ might have been dangerous but at least it was on familiar ground.

Out of the gloom Hux suddenly found himself standing in a foyer, off of which branched several more hallways. 

“’Down the hall, you’ll know it when you see it’” Hux muttered under his breath, mocking Kylo’s deep voice, “what have you gotten me into you fool?”

He supposed he should just go straight, down the passage directly across the room.  But who knew, in this blasted labyrinth?  If he took a wrong turn he might spend the rest of his days wandering these dank halls. 

But he did not have to make up his mind.  A blaster bolt hit the wall beside him, scorching the stone.  Hux whipped around to see a man in black, sporting a Resistance fighter’s jacket.

“Who are you?”  He demanded, producing his own blaster and pointing it at his assailant. 

“Come on, General Hux, you don’t remember me?”  His tone was sardonic, but tainted with a much darker, stronger anger. 

Then it clicked.  “FN-2187.”  He he hissed.  His mind was racing.  If the traitor was here, then where was the girl?  What kind of trap had he walked into?

“That’s not my name.”  Spat FN-2187.

Alone, Hux could take him.  He’d trained troopers, he knew what they knew, and what they didn’t.  “You’re right, you lost the right to that number.  What should I call you then?  Traitor?  Rebel Scum?”  The surprise of the attack wearing off, Hux felt his joints loosen and the confidence return to his posture.  He walked further into the center of the room, keeping his blaster fixed on the other man.

“At least I’m not a murderer.”

“Really?  How many of your brothers have you killed, traitor?  Or did your new friends tell you they didn’t count?  At least I know what I am.”  He could feel the power balance shifting in his favor. 

The man was shaking now, his face contorted with rage.  “Shut up!” 

“Those new friends of yours, they’re bad people.  Murderers, traitors, thieves.  They’re tearing the galaxy apart.  But they’ll lose in the end and history will call them what they are.  A disease.”

“They aren’t going to lose,” said the traitor, seeming to regain a little of his composure, “how is the First Order going to win without a general?”

Before he had time to react, a blaster bolt struck his hand, sending his own weapon clattering to the floor.  Hux doubled over, clutching the wounded appendage.  The pain was excruciating, but he wouldn’t let it on.  He straightened again, gritting his teeth and forcing a derisive chuckle.  “Come on, traitor, I designed your training protocols, I know you know how to aim.  Or did you forget how to shoot to kill?”

“I don’t want to kill you with one shot.”  The man advanced on Hux who backed up a little despite himself.  “You took everything from me.  My life, my family, my name. I want to enjoy this.”

“You would have been nothing without the Order.  I gave you a chance to be better, to be part of something great.” 

The power balance had tipped decidedly against Hux now.  The General was beginning to genuinely fear for his life.  He only hoped it didn’t show.  He was running though every simulation he had ever done.  He knew hand-to-hand combat.  If only he had the use of both hands. He tried to stall, perhaps something would come to him, some way out.

“And if you kill me,” he went on, trying to keep his voice level, “it won’t change anything.  Someone else will take my place, the Stormtrooper program will keep going, and sooner or later, you’ll still lose.”

“That’s still one less monster in the galaxy.”

He was running out of options.  Was he really going to die, killed by some runaway trooper in this filthy little room?  The indignity of it made him sick.  But he had been taught to die with dignity and that was what he was going to do.

“Fine,” he said, looking the traitor dead in the eyes with as much bravado as he could summon, “do it.  Get your revenge.  Kill me now and see if it eases your pain.” 

Hux stared at the other man evenly, unblinkingly.  He waited a second, and then another, expecting each measured breath to be his last.  But there was no final bang of a blaster shot, no flash of light or sudden darkness.  There was only a long silence, finally broken when the traitor turned away, dropping his blaster to his side.

“No.”  He said.  “I’m not gonna kill you, even if you do deserve it.” 

Hux was just starting to let himself relax when the man’s fist struck him hard in the face, knocking him down, and sending a fireworks display of tiny lights flickering across his vision.

“Damn, that felt good.”  The traitor shook out his hand with a satisfied sigh.

Hux sat up, trying to reorient himself.  He could taste blood. 

The traitor had taken out a commlink and was speaking into it.  “Rey?  Where are you?  Rey?”

He heard the muffled sound of lightsabers, staticky through the communicator and then a woman’ s voice.  “I’m a bit busy.” 

_The girl.  Ren._

The traitor frowned and looked over his shoulder, down another hallway.  He looked down at General Hux.  “Don’t go anywhere.”  He said, and struck him, hard, in the side of the head with his blaster.  The world went dark.

* * *

 

When Hux came to he was being half-carried, half-dragged by a familiar figure.

“Ren?”  He asked, his mouth swollen and ungainly.  “What happened to the rebels?”

“Escaped.  They aren’t here for us, they want Snoke.  But we’ll get there first.  This is the fastest way.”

“Oh.”  Said Hux, dumbly. 

“If I’d known you couldn’t take care of yourself I wouldn’t have sent you off alone.”

“Shut up.”  He mumbled.  He became suddenly very aware of how close his body was to Ren’s.  That wouldn’t do.  He jerked away.  “And I can walk on my own.”

He might have been over confident.  He could _walk_ , but the world still looked a little less than solid.  They were making their way down another stone hallway.  This one at least seemed dryer, cleaner. Artificial lights were fixed to the ceiling and security droids patrolled the halls.  There were even uniformed guards.  They saluted as Hux walked past but he felt their eyes burning holes in his back.  He hated to think what he must look like. 

“All the forces on the ground are being pulled back to this wing.”  Kylo said, striding a few steps ahead of the General.  “Air support is on its way.  The rebels won’t be getting to the Supreme Leader and they won’t be getting off world.”

“What about your business with the girl?”

“That had to wait.  You had to be delivered to Snoke.”

Despite himself, Hux felt oddly touched by this. 

At last they came to the doors of Snoke’s chamber.  There was a moment when both of them stopped and Hux wondered if Kylo heard it too, the faint little voice that said _this is it, this is the point of no return_.  But if Ren heard it, he did nothing to acknowledge it so Hux followed suit.  The doors swung open before them.

The room was long and dark.  At the far end there was a raised platform and a throne.  Someone sat upon that throne, and though Hux knew exactly who it was he had to do a double take.  Supreme Leader Snoke was not the giant he had seemed in the hologram.  He was no bigger than any other man.  Not that it made him any less imposing.  The walk down the long central aisle seemed longer than the whole rest of the journey combined.  The whole way he was keenly aware of the echoing sound of his footsteps, his slightly labored breathing, the swish of Ren’s cloak.

“General, Ren.”  The Supreme Leader did not speak until the two men were almost directly at his feet.  “I was beginning to think you had lost your way.”

“We were delayed,” said Kylo, “shot down over Arkanis.”

“It was her, was it not?  The girl?  The same one who is making her way here now?”

“Yes.”

“You cannot face her yet.  Not without your final training.”

“Then please, teach me.”  Kylo spoke with the desperation of a child to his father, “I’m ready.”

“Yes, I think you are.”  The Supreme Leader seemed to suck on each word, to savor its weight.  “It is time to purge the light from you once and for all.  Love is a weakness, my apprentice, love is a gateway to mercy, mercy is a gateway to the light.  You know this, do you not?”

“Yes.”  Kylo gave a slow nod, was that hesitation?

“Then it is time to practice it.  I thought perhaps after you eradicated Han Solo you would have learned, but it seems there is still a great deal of weakness in you.  You must purge it now.  Kill General Hux.”

“What?”  

Hux heard Kylo’s panicked question as if from very far away.  The bottom had dropped out of his stomach. 

“Did you think you could keep secrets from me?  I could sense your weakness from across the galaxy.”

“Sir,” Hux managed, choking on his own tight throat, “please, there is _nothing_ between Ren and I, not any more!  Whatever there was is gone.  We chose the Order, _I_ chose the Oder.  I’ve been nothing but loyal, I –“

“Silence!”  The Supreme Leader’s voice boomed through the cavernous chamber, freezing the very breath in Hux’s lungs.  “As long as you live you will be a source of weakness.  Ren must learn to do away with mercy.  This is the only way.  It might have been easier for him if he had not been so determined to save your life.  I put the idea in the head of one commander that he might be your replacement.  I arranged that he be brought aboard your ship.  I even aided him in hiring a bounty hunter to assassinate you.  He wasn’t sure at first, he was fond of your father.  But I fed his ambition.  It would have been so simple.  But you had to make it difficult.”

“That… that was you?”  The whole foundation of Hux’s world was crumbling, he was falling through empty space and somewhere along the way he had left his insides behind.  This simply couldn’t be. 

“Yes.  Your friend Captain Phasma is on the verge of realizing it, but of course, she won’t have a chance to let it sink in.”

“I’ve done everything you asked!”  The General insisted, “I’ve been loyal, the Order needs me!”

“You poor, stupid little man.  You are nothing but a chess piece.  Expendable.  Your replacement is already lined up.  Your life means nothing compared to the power your death will unleash in Ren.”

Hux searched for words that weren’t there.  Had it all been leading to this?  Every test, every simulation, every victory he had clawed out, had it all happened just to be made meaningless now? 

Kylo was watching him, eyes wide, lips trembling.  “You told me killing my father would make me immune to the light,” he spoke to Snoke, but didn’t look away from the General.  “But it only made it worse.”

“Because you were led astray.  If you had come to me immediately after I might have prevented this.  But you were injured and you let the light fester inside of you.  Now is your chance to rectify that.  Kill him.”

“I can’t.” 

“You _will_.”

But Kylo shook his head.  “No.  I won’t.”

“You dare to question my orders?”  Demanded Snoke, rising from his seat.  “So be it.  If you won’t kill the General yourself then you can watch him die.  You could have finished him quickly, but I will not.  I want you to see him suffer, to watch the light leave his eyes.”

“No!”  Ren cried, but it was too late.

The first bolt of lightning struck Hux in the chest.  He had never known pain like this, like a supernova in his veins.  He might have screamed, he wasn’t sure.  He had no senses anymore but pain.  He was only vaguely aware of Kylo pleading with the Supreme Leader as the next bout of concentrated force energy seized his body.  Every fiber, every bone, every single atom of his body burned.  It was as if he had been reduced to a single nerve, existing only to feel this agony.  And it went on and on.  And then, all of a sudden, it stopped.

Hux collapsed to the flagstone floor, the world fading in and out of focus.

“He’s finished.  Dying.  End it, Ren.  Stamp out your weakness here and now.”

“No!  No!  I can’t!  I won’t kill for you again!”

Somewhere, at the far end of the room he heard the heavy doors burst open with a crash.

“It’s too late, you fool!  You’ll never defeat her without the training.”

Everything was happening so quickly.  Hux only caught snippets.  Little flashes of sight, of sound.  He heard the buzz of lightsabers igniting, saw Ren turn to face the door.  There was a moment, and another, a long pause where Kylo seemed to waver on the verge of action.  Then he turned on Snoke.

“Weakling!”  Spat the supreme leader, “Will you really turn on me?  Without me, you are nothing.  Too weak for the dark side, too broken for the light.  You will never be great, you’ll never be Darth Vader.”

The air lit up with another flash of lighting.  Hux’s chest clenched, expecting to hear Kylo scream, to see him fall, instead there was an even brighter flash, a hiss of energy against energy, the glow of another lightsaber, a blue one.  _The girl_?  Hux strained to see through the fog that clouded his vision.  The girl, he had never seen her so close, was holding the lightning at bay with her saber, pushing back toward Snoke.   Kylo stood behind her, Hux supposed he must be as shocked he himself was. 

What followed was too fast, too much for Hux to comprehend.  He was too busy fighting the darkness that was encroaching on his vision, the nothingness lapping at the edges of his consciousness. He couldn’t go, not yet.  He was grasping at the shreds of himself, searching for something that still had meaning.  His life had been nothing.  Every simulation had been for naught, every ounce of faith a lie, every sacrifice meaningless, every choice an illusion.  It had all been leading to this, this dying world on the edge of the void.  He had no past, ha had no future.  There was only one thing in him that was real, that was true, and he had given it up, given _him_ up. 

All of a sudden, a horrible scream tore through the room, followed by a great tremor.  He knew what this meant.  It was over.  Snoke was dead, the planet was disintegrating.  As shock after shock reverberated through the building, Hux heard the crash of the ceiling beginning to collapse.  Someone was beside him, trying to lift him.  _Kylo_.

“Stop.”  Moaned Hux, trying to focus his eyes on the other man’s face.  Speaking was suddenly a herculean task.  “I’ll…only slow you down.  There’s no point.”

“I won’t leave you.”  Ren’s voice was choked, pleading.  “I can’t…”

“I’m dying, you idiot and you’ll die too if you try and drag me with you.  Go.”

“He’s right.”  The girl’s voice.  “The planet’s falling apart.”

“Why do you care what I do?”  Snapped Kylo, turning briefly away from Hux.  “Leave me!”

“General Organa’s lost enough without losing her son too.  I promised her I would try and bring you home.”

“Go.”  Hux said again. 

To his relief, he felt Kylo lay him back on the ground.  The man knelt over him, a hand entangled in his hair, pushing it back from his clammy forehead.  There were tears in his eyes, dripping down his long nose.  He was beautiful, Hux thought.  To die looking up a the one you love, there were worse things than that.

“I…” it took a monumental effort to speak now. 

“Stop.  Don’t talk.  It’s alright.”

There was so much he wanted to say.  _I was so wrong.  I should have run away with you.  Even after all of this, these last few weeks have been the best of my life and I would go through all of this again if it meant just a little more time by your side.  You were the only good thing I had, the only right choice I ever made._   But he hadn’t the breath.  So he said the most important thing, the one he knew he could not die without saying.  “I love you.”  He breathed.

“I know.”  Whispered Kylo.  And it was enough. 


End file.
